The way things are
by NightAngel2
Summary: Sasuke, when the time of his departure came, thinks about his fellings towards a certain pink haired girl.


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Hello! Here I come again with yet another one-shot! This one is from Sasuke's P.O.V. (Yes! That's right. I may not like him very much ... but ... I'll give it a try). Sorry if he seems O.O.C.

These are his thoughts when he leaves the village with the Sound Nins. It's about what he thinks of Sakura. Lots of spoilers!

Pairings: Sasuke+Sakura

Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Naruto.

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The way things are

*By: NightAngel*

I feel guilty. A feeling with which I'm not a ease. It is because I made you cry. How come I'm always the one that makes you cry?

I don't like seeing tears in your eyes! I hate to see your puffy eyes and your quivering lips. I hate hearing the sobs and the pleas. But yet ... I can't hate you as a whole.

The first time we started as a team, I called you annoying. I realized how much I hurt you back then. But tonight ... tonight I hurt you in a whole new way ... even if the words were the same ... it meant a lot more. To you ... and to me too.

I thought you were just another crazy fan girl that enjoyed nagging me and grabbing my arm. But as time went by, you proved me wrong. You are strong, even though I would never admit, even though you are not aware of it yourself.

The first time I showed some kind of ... let's call it affection ... for you, was on the day we started the chunnin exam. I saw your sad look and the way you hesitated. It made me feel bad, and so I did the only thing I could and would do. I saw the thankfulness in your eyes, and it made me so happy to see you like that. 

We were a team, a clumsy one, but yet a team. And that's what teamwork is all about. Being there for each other. And that's why I'm leaving now. Because I fell like I'm not part of our team anymore. I've became so distant in the last few weeks ... I know you noticed ... since Orochimaru gave me the curse ... since the day I felt the power rise within me.

That day ... I remember seeing you all beaten up. The hair you had so hardly let grow was now gone. I know you did it because you though I liked long hair. I do actually. And I would never admit the times I longed to touch your beautiful pink hair ... because that's just not me.

That day, I felt anger in measures I had never before. I'd punish whoever had made that to you. And then you came and stopped me. I guess you don't like violence. I ask myself why the hell you've decided to became a ninja if you can't kill or even badly injure your enemy. But that didn't matter. The felling of your embrace made the curse retreat, and fell back exhausted, knowing you were there to pick me up.

I didn't love you back then. But I can't deny that deep in my heart, I was starting to see you as more then a mere comrade or friend. But I suppressed those feelings, because that's what I always do.

I saw love as a weakness ... a weakness I could not have. So I ignored that my whole life. I even tend to ignore my friends, keeping a good distance between us, because I don't want them to get hurt ... ever.

So, that day, when I woke up at the hospital, after the confrontation with Itachi, and you hugged me and cried for me, I felt weak. I was a weakling because I knew that I had given myself to feelings as futile as love and friendship. I loved you, but I couldn't just give in to that.

When I threw away the plate full of apples you served me, I saw the pain in your eyes, and I wanted to die right there and then, but no, I had to continue to ignore and hide the feelings I had for you, so I did nothing.

When you interfered in my fight with Naruto, back at the hospital's roof, I didn't really care if you got hurt. But after, when the rage was gone, I felt like crying because I could've hurt you really badly, if not killed you. And what would I do if that happened?

I would simply die, because even if I won't admit it, you are my life, my strength, my all. If you disappear I won't be able to live any longer.

So that's why now, I'm leaving. Because I can't bare the fact that I do not have the power or strength to protect you. So, when I achieve that power, I'll be back and I will no longer be afraid, because I'm sure that I will protect you. So please wait for me, and please don't hate me, because I'm doing all of this for you.

All I could say was thank you, when I actually wanted to say I love you. But ... if I did that, you would surely come after me, and I can't have that. Not now at least. Please rest, and forgive my lack of strength. I'll be back for you, because that's just the way things are ...

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Ara? Bad! Very bad! Yeah, it's quite visible that Sasuke is not my favorite character. Well, please review!

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